Aloha!!

It’s official, the best place to have an ultimate tournament is Oahu, Hawaii. I have been to tournaments in every US time zone, Mexico, Canada, and the ultimate ultimate experience has to be the Kaimana Klassik. I just had myself a pretty sick nasty weekend in the sun and I thought I would share some details about my experience.

I thought I would start off by giving a run down of a few teams of interest.

Lone Star

First and foremost, the best team at this tourney (aside from my own) had to be my boys from Texas. These guys are spectacular. Skip, Natali, Matty, Wheels, Mars(?), and the rest of the boys from the “yee-ha” state are pocket Aces. My cousin Alex has told me about how badass they are for some time, but I didn’t know for sure. If there was a crowd that could match my flare, my stories, my social exploits, and could show me a better time than I could show them, it would have to be the Austin crew. I am glad Billings, Ross and Hartwell already knew some of them, but we were blood brothers before we even played our game against them first thing Saturday morning. Some hilarious comments included, “I want to make an enemy tonight” (Skip), “I’m distracting aren’t I” (Mars), “Ok Match, let’s get belligerent” (Matty), and “Dude, I forgot that I took a weed brownie this morning” (anonymous). I would love to tell ya’ll about our escapades, but yeah, not here. All I can say is that I will be saddling up with them in a month at Centex and if anyone wants a good time, look for a bunch of tall drunken cowboys and a red head. Oh and Mars, accept my Facebook request so we can work out that three way deal with my colt jersey and the XL blue lone star long sleeve. I might just end up buying it when I get to Austin but I’ll send you a fresh jersey once I get back to the Have.

Voltron

Yeah, so this team was the all-star squad. They were probably the most fun team to watch and it sucked that they lost in semis. Notable players were Ben Wiggins, Josh Greenough, John “Kid” Hammond, Parker Krugg, Adam “Chicken” Simon, Andrew Fleming, and that’s about all I can remember right now. I will say that I kinda liked seeing Kid pull a Chris Webber time out move against Ono because it let me know that even the best players make mistakes. I will say that I kind of went over board on bugging him, sorry. He is just so distracting, what with the whole kimono/Paule Shore look-a-like/I’m so good at ultimate I can play wearing a bunch of crap/tight T-shirt antics. If you don’t want attention, don’t go out of your way to draw it. He is a spectacular player though, great D, very dynamic offensive presence, and hugantic running strides. The guy moves like a cheetah.

I also want to take this opportunity to poke some fun at these guys since I massage their egos enough and I actually got a chance to see them interact in real life as opposed to just on the field. First off, wow, way to act like a bunch of high school football heroes. The whole white jumpsuits at the party was a little suspect. Way to go out of your way to make yourselves try and look really cool in a Saved by the Bell sort of way. Well, the teal Ono collard shirts were much worse, but still, you guys looked like you were from Terminix. Also, Chicken’s Carson Daly-esk MC-ing during the dance off had me scratching my head. Manisha "Slap" Daryani's dance moves definitely helped distract me from how pink and pretty Mr. Simon is (side note: it really sucks that Slap got a ginormic concussion putting her on vomit duty during the women’s finals. Had she, Becky, and that girl that destroyed her leg, played in the finals, it would have been a much closer game). I will say it was a pleasure playing against him and the rest of Voltron despite the fact that they spanked us in quarters. I think most folks are aware Chicken is a premier handler, but I was really impressed with his D. Also, thanks guys for printing Voltron hats in blue, it’s my favorite color. You wouldn't think the last 15 seconds of this video would be inspiring but, who’s the savy veteran now?

Hey and ulti arnie, you never told me what your nickname means. You played really well and I hope I get the chance to see you and the rest of NC State this spring.

Ono

HA! This is too easy. Let me just say, Air Squids 1, Black Tide 0.

Stanford

As far as actual ultimate goes, these boys definitely did not disappoint. I wasn’t in Goleta last month for Santa Barbara Invite, but the undergrads really did well this weekend. They started off really slow against the Japanese team winning a squeaker 11-9, but after getting their shit together, they really kicked ass and made semis. Sherwood is a stud, Ezra is a sick deep, and Schlag is as badass as his last name. I wish I could have seen Tom James play more, but he sat out most of our game. We played them in power pools and I was really stoked to get the chance to play against a team I have been following for so long. High points were me NOT getting D’d by Derek Frome despite his extremely tight/physical man D. Low points were my heckling (I sucked this game) and the fact that we lost. Their offense was really crisp and our team, despite a ton of talent, had trouble converting on O because we had never played with each other. In addition, it was really nice to meet Ryan “The Pulse” Thompson. He is a good guy and it sucks that he couldn’t play because of a broken arm.

Skeletor

This team was fun to watch because they were basically the Stanford talent of yester year, in addition to some bay area guys. Wiseman played a great game in the finals and the punk ass cost me a sourdough jack and two tacos. Thanks to his like 11 scores, I had to buy a drunk as fuck Protik 3 Big Macs instead of him buying me some Jack in the Box goodies I can’t get in New Haven. It was also cool seeing Mike Payne (Skeletor, Revolver, Jam, Stanford) line up against Steve Dugan (Ono, Condors, UCSB). I hope they swapped digits after all their marking contact. Skeletor definitely made the finals exciting after letting Ono creep up on them to tie it at 14’s after they had a 14-12 lead. I think the best thing about this game was that it was a semblance of the old rivalry between UCSB and Stanford. Back in the 90’s these teams were both at the top at the same time and I am sure players like Greg “Hollywood” Husak (Ono) and Mike Payne have no love lost over the last 10-15 years. The best heckle from our group during the finals was the Kevin Cissna movie chants. Every time he got the disc we would yell out a different Brad Pitt movie and while I didn’t initiate it, I definitely dropped Thelma and Louise first.

Almos Pau

I couldn’t talk about teams without mentioning my own. What I thought would be a San Diego squad was mostly Mischief and Shazaam players. We had some great handlers, some great cutters, some great defenders, and great overall teammates. Here are a few things that I liked about my team, or I just thought were funny/cool:

1) Leetch, you could totally be a pretty boy douche bag and you aren’t. Thanks for being a lot of fun and I really enjoyed playing with you.

2) I ran into a guy I played with at Acapulco (Jeremy Clark) before games started and we were both happy to see each other and he mentioned that Cole (another friend from Mexico last year) was at the tournament as well. I was stoked and looked forward to crossing paths with him. Needless to say, the guy was actually on my team and I didn’t know it yet. HA! We had fun.

3) After the tournament ended, I got the chance to tell Brett Kolinek from Bravo/Colorado State that I hated him when I was a squid and he played for Hibida. I told him why and we both laughed at a story that is now ancient history. People, get used to liking all ultimate players because you never know when they will be your teammate some day.

4) Beevers, you make me laugh. You got balls and very interesting taste in women.

5) Protik and Becky are two of the best people I have ever met. Pro let me play for Almos Pau and he and his wife Becky basically babysat me the whole weekend. They shuttled me to and from the airport, let me stay at their house, hooked me up with showers/food/greenery, and were just good friends. Oh and did I mention I had never met them before? Gotta love ultimate players.

The whole team was a ton of fun and not only were we fun, but we were good. We went 3-1 in pool play and managed to battle back and beat the Doughboys (Australia) on double game point to make quarters. I wish I had actually caught this fucking disc, but later I managed to call a game saving pick that got us one of the breaks we needed to win the game.

My Gripes

So this tournament was fun but there are some things that I want to bitch about and since it’s my blog, I am going to say whatever I want.

First, the fields are HARSH. My joints look like burger right now. They are like playing in a thorny bush. Yikes. My scratches were definitely excessive and not the norm, but when you are stuck indoors for 5 months, you are going to take every bid opportunity you can. It was worth it.

The food was ehh. The only stuff that was actually good was the pig you had to buy for lunch everyday. That stuff was legit and only 5 bucks. Dinners were forgettable though. Weird Mexican stuff with processed nacho cheese? Meat paste egg rolls? Whatever the hell that salad stuff was? However, there was a TON of free liquids including copious amounts of booze, juice, Gatorade, and coffee. That made things extremely helpful in battling the blistering heat and getting hjammered (no typo) come party time.

Hippy bullshit. This has been bugging me for a long time and I am going to bring it up now. I am so god damn tired of the PC/green peace/sensitive crap associated with ultimate players. COME ON!! Yes I am a male, yes I am heterosexual, and yes I want to eat meat. In the food line, the first thing asked was not “chicken or beef?”, it wasn’t “pig or fish?”, it was “are you vegetarian?”. Really? Since when did eating meat become this unpopular? We have been doing it for a million years and now it’s a crime against nature? It’s an unhealthy lifestyle? It’s unsustainable? You guys are almost as bad as the Atkins nuts. Maybe I am just part of a sport that has a lot of green minded people and I suppose that is ok. It’s like being a Pink Floyd fan as well as a stoner, but I am going to bitch anyway.

Yeah and after the finals, I sucked it up and my drunk ass stayed and picked up trash. Most folks left but I was a contributor to the mess and I wanted to do my part. I walked around for like 20 minutes rounding up garbage. However, when I went over to the stockpile I got frowns because I didn’t separate the recyclables from the non-recyclables. Are you fucking serious? Have you ever been to a sporting event or concert? Large groups of people don’t pick up after themselves. That is why people are paid to pick up trash. Get used to it. And when someone actually sacks up and does pick up after themselves, you are going to give them shit for not sorting it? I was pissed, but drunk, so I probably overreacted. But come on!

And the whole sex thing, yes I sometimes use words like “raped”, yes I am going to draw attention to hot women in ultimate (in what I believe to be a respectful manner) and yes I like to tell offensive stories/jokes. Sorry, I really enjoy having that Y chromosome and I act like I have a pair. I try and keep it clean here but have any of you ever let yourselves laugh? I am having a kick ass time in my 20’s and securing a topnotch future in the process, not to mention entertaining some people in the process. I’m not going to be like this in 20 years (I hope?) but I will have the satisfaction that I did it right when I was young and I am not going to be a 40-something in a midlife crisis because I haven’t had any fun. Folks, it’s called age appropriate behavior. Enjoy life and don’t be a BUZZ KILL!! For help, watch more Family Guy and less Lifetime.

(I am probably barking up the wrong tree and I am going to get a lot of “Get used to it Match” but god, no wonder people make fun of our game and call it things like “fag-toss”. Not my words, so don’t give me that homophobic crap.)

Closing Thoughts

In any event, I loved Kaimana. I am not much of a camper because my dad drank and sucked at taking care of his sons, so I was a bit unprepared, but I had a great time none the less. I hope to return in 2009 with more friends than enemies, but we’ll have to wait and see. Thank you to the TD crew, you guys run a hell of tournament and I can see why the best in the world come all the way to your polo fields to rock out under the sun. Thank you to my team organizers (Pro and Ross) as well as our team mom (Becky), you gave me something I have wanted for a long time. Thank you to my Texas homies, you made this weekend unreal. Thanks Billings for being Billings. Thanks Hartwell for being a friend when you should have been one 3 years ago. Thank you to my teammates, you let a fat red head enjoy ultimate he can’t get in Connecticut. Thanks to anyone that laughs at my spittle and doesn’t toss too much shit at me when I unload it all over the place. And thank you for taking the time to read this, I am nothing without my audience.

Next stop Paganello?

just my thoughts

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Sockeye/Bravo Finals Thoughts

Now that Rob has posted the Sockeye/Bravo finals, I had a chance to take a peak and I had some thoughts about it.

First off, I think the weather must have been an issue. A friend of mine was there and he said it was really windy. I also heard that Sunday was the first really bad day of wind and teams had potentially not adjusted yet and this game would be not as crisp as previous ones. With that being said I am sure that playing top shelf disc in said weather is difficult, especially offense. However, this is club nationals, this is Sarasota, its always this windy in the finals and these teams are the best. However, considering that they are the best in the world, I don’t think they played like it. This game looked much more like a college finals than anything else, I mean Bravo was down 5-3 and then went on a 4-0 run? Took half 8-6, but lost 15-13? That doesn't happen in the finals at Club Nationals. I wouldn’t call it sloppy but it definitely was not what I was expecting. Now, this is very presumptuous of me to say seeing that I am about 2 or 3 light years from this playing ability but I still have some observations.

When I saw that Bravo made the finals, I was really stoked. They made semis last year, a really good bunch of players, very experienced, very athletic, and so on. However, this was their first finals appearance and it was for the ability to play at World’s. That is a ton of pressure and I think it got to them. You have really stellar play from a lot of great players but there were also some HUGE mental mistakes like easy throw aways and hasty decisions. I don’t want to knit pick a team that just made the finals, but it just did not look like they played their best offense. I mean you have a team throw a callahan AND drop a pull. You look at just those two things, no way you predict Sockeye to win the game. That should be 2 easy breaks, which should be all you need at this level. However, Bravo tossed up some poor spittle and Sockeye made them pay.

This is by no means the end of the world for Bravo and I feel like this sort of loss has to happen for a team to improve. It has got to be damn near impossible to just swoop into the finals and win the first time, especially against a team that is playing in like their 5th finals, their 4th in a row. This is not dissimilar to the GOAT/Boston regional final I keep talking about. A great team has to learn to be great and situations like this teach them. It would be nice if these lessons can be learned verbally but I think that Chicken will be a better handler now that he has had a tough loss like this. I am sure every dump throw he tosses will be perfect from now on and a cutter going up the line better be DAMN open and NOT covered by Mike Caldwell for him to toss that outside in flick. I have had some really poor moments in my career and I can say that events like this really precipitate improvement, they haunt you forever but they make you better. That is how experience is earned and I will say that I think Bravo is going to be the team to beat next year. Sockeye will have to peak twice to win it all next year, something that hasn’t been done by the previous 2 world title holders. I think Jam or whoever else will give Bravo a game next year but the boys from Colorado will have all the tools to win it all in 2008, experience, athletes, and the memory of 13-15 silver medal.

Ok, Bravo lost, way to kick them while they are down Match, dick! Now for Sockeye. This is a weird team. There is so much footage of them so folks like myself have seen them play a lot, despite the 3,000 mile separation. However, they sometimes seem to play to their opponents, not their own game. Take last year for example. The 2006 finals was an extremely well played game. I remember watching the score reporter in lab and seeing that Sockeye had taken half 8-6. At that point I knew Furious was screwed and they were, down a few breaks to a team like Sockeye and your chances of victory are pretty slim. Elite Open ultimate is all about possession, ie not turning it over. These elite squads have the ability to play games with less than 10 turnovers, it is almost expected at this point. With that in mind I think Sockeye really wanted to beat Furious last year, a team that had sprung their proverbial bear trap on the Fish in the past. They played patiently, their cutters were on fire and they took advantage of a few Furious mistakes, not to mention 2 HUGE breaks in a world greatest and the Skippy hammer incident. However this year, not unlike 3 years ago, Sockeye was not playing Furious in the finals and they played less composed and more aggressive. There were many big plays, skies and hucks, but there were also A LOT of turnovers and layout Ds. Layout Ds are really nice, and in college they happen a lot because handlers are not as good. They see a guy and think he is open and a defender either makes up some serious ground or comes out of nowhere. In club though, these handlers are conditioned by years of mistakes so they know when to throw and when not to. In this game however, there were so many layout Ds, I mean watch last years finals and you will see some HUGE bids, but most folks came up empty. Valdivia, Beau, Jolian, Caldwell, JD all made great plays (although technically not a layout D by JD). But the throws that allow these Ds should not have been tossed in the first place. I suppose playing in the North East has made me slightly more conservative and it just amazes me that at this level, a game like this happened. Also, like the Sockeye/Jam finals there were a lot of turnovers, especially on game point. Double game point in 2004, I think each team had 2 chances to score. Last weekend, Sockeye needed 3 possessions at 14-13 to seal the game, and that is 2 too many. I mean Tim's outside in flick to Seth with Beau covering him? Really? On game point? However, considering the composure status of Bravo, its not surprising that they got it back and won the game.

Aside from being an ass, my main reason for articulating this point is that I think Sockeye has their work cut out for them at World’s. Japan is a really good team and they are going to take advantage of miscues like the ones Sockeye made on Sunday at nationals. Their defenders are top notch and if Sockeye thinks they can just play their deep game and hope to generate Ds here and there, they have another thing coming. I think they have the personnel, the time, and the motivation to be the best in the world but it is by no means a guarantee. There were a few points in that ECC final where the Buzz Bullets got pretty close to sealing that game and they will be hungrier than ever before next August. With that being said, I think Sockeye will be ready because they know what Japan is capable of. Wiggins exhibited an amazing amount of class and respect when he spoke with Rob after the ECC final regarding Japan. The Fish know their competition, and I wonder what their game plan will be.

Ok, way to bash the two best teams in the world, how about some positive points.

First, I was really impressed with Nord, he had a really great game, something like 2 goals and 3 assists. Over the last 2 years or so I wasn't sure if Nord was playing his best. He is so big, I mean the guy is like 6'5" and he is lanky as all get out. Chase is also tall but he is built like Brian Urlacher and Nord is more like Nowitski. Going into this tournament, I was curious to know if his size was becoming an issue and if he could move the way he used to. I mean if you watch the finals from last year, he just doesn't really make that many plays, which is fine, he was probably covered very well. However, this year, it seemed like he was back to his 2005 status when he had huge performances at regionals and nationals. He made so many great plays in the air and downfield, not to mention that he was just really heads up the whole game. Come on, that snatch and quick toss for a score? Someone was paying attention. I am glad to be proven wrong and it was really nice to see Nord dominant again. Hope that thumb isn’t too badly injured.

Another fantasy allstar in this game was Hector Valdivia. Wow this guy played well, on both sides of the disc. His quick huck score to Beau off a turn was absolutely beautiful, as was his SICK layout D at 9-8. I also like his scoop score from Popiel to take half. I really didn't know who he was before this tournament but I know who he is now. I also like seeing guys that can play all sides of the disc. I think he finished with 3 goals and 2 assists.

Another player that I think had a great game was Mike Caldwell. Over the years the only real thing I can say about Mike is that he isn't Roger Crafts. It seems like they look a lot alike, what with the shaved heads and facial hair. Plus Crafts is #2 and Mike is #20. However, this guy played awesome. He had a great catch to tie the game at 10s (his 2nd goal) not to mention his biggest play, which was saving Sam O'brien's ass getting an EPIC layout D after the dropped pull. I also know for a fact that Caldwell is an insane athlete (watch the celebration after Sockeye won it all last year and you will see him jump like 3 feet in the air) and it is nice to see him kick ass. I wonder if his son will be as good a player as Dad.

I think Chase had an interesting game. Most folks (myself) consider him a deep cutter because of his size but he was putting up hucks left and right. I also like the hammer he tossed to Nord (who skied Seth, his own team mate) for a goal. Interesting to see him throw the hammers in the finals instead of catching them.

I also like seeing Jolian Dahl and Ray Illian play well. I think both have tough situations to deal with in ultimate. Ray was a stud at Washington but didn't really have much of a supporting cast plus he had to compete with all the talent in the NW so he was overshadowed a lot. I think he is a great player and I don't think enough people know that. He had a great game with some great scores, skies and defensive efforts. Jolian is similar in that he has played with Beau for so long and they appear to be similar players, except that Beau jumped over a guy once. I will say that Jolian is straight up filthy. He is a GREAT player who carried Colorado at college nationals and seeing him get that hugtastic layout D on Sammy was really cool.

There were also just a lot of really cool plays to see in this game. Parker's out side in flick score to Whitaker (actually I think he meant to throw it to Beau) was awesome. Chicken's callahan was pretty cool. I didn't think TG would toss something up like that. It also should serve as a lesson to kids to work on their pulls. A back corner starting spot is not fun to work with. Richter had a nice layout score followed up by his patented head spike (I tried to get him to do it at the college nationals showcase game, but he wouldn't). I also like how Sammy quietly threw 4 scores. I also laughed a little bit when Parker claimed a disc was up when it literally bounced off the ground.

All in all this was a really entertaining game. I think many lessons were learned on both teams and I really think that Bravo is taking the steps to really become a giant in elite disc. And can I also say that none of my writing would be possible without Ultivillage. Thanks a lot Rob, you are doing a fantastic job. Aside from buying every UvTv subscription, your DVDs, and plugging you weekly in my blog entries, is there anything else I can do to support your company?

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